Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

I am spending the day with my children and grandson. Hope your day is as joyous as I know mine will be.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Tis' the season...

It makes me so happy to be with my family at this time of year. While we miss Steve so much at this time we keep his memory alive by keeping his traditions alive. Sarah and Nate have taken over getting the Christmas trees for me and Grandma Norma. They have really gotten into it and have picked out some really great ones. This year is no different. I will try to get a picture of it this year. It is one of those hybrid nobles and it is pretty cute.


Kids will be here at noon Christmas morning and then we will do the Fordyce Christmas the following day. This week is going to be crazy because I still have a couple of more gifts to get and another party with friends. I definitely love this time of the year even if it is crazy stressful.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

He is three.

My grandson turned three on Monday. It is unbelievable how time has flown by. I miss his grandpa so much and wish that he were here to experience how awesome Cash is. We celebrated his birthday on Sunday. He was only mildly interested in his guests, presents and cake. Operating on no nap, all he did was be super hyper and not sit too long or he risked falling asleep.

His momma made him a dirt cake which he really didn't want to eat but the gummy worms on it got his attention. Those he picked off the remainder of the cake after everyone was served and ate those. I think the cake was mostly for his daddy and mommy who love it.

His presents held little or no interest for him until his dad started to open them. The best gifts appeared to be from his Aunt Lisa and Uncle Buck which were a large artists tablet with washable markers and brushes. He also received books and various matchbox like cars and a couple of movies. He was happy with all his gifts just more interested in drawing than anything else.


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Safe and sound, sort of....

My trip to California was a quick one. It was fun yet bittersweet. My mom has been diagnosed with dementia. She is in the early stages. It is hard to see her with memory issues when she was the person who remembered everything even stuff we didn't want her to remember. 

The girls and Cash came along for the visit too. Cash was uncertain at first because it was his first long distance drive and first time being away from his daddy. Sarah had to call Nate a couple of times so that Cash could hear his daddy's voice and get a little reassurance that his dad was still around.


Sarah took him to the neighborhood park which has an amazing playground. He didn't want to come back to my parents house after going there so he had a couple of meltdowns. By the time we were ready to come home he was enjoying his visits with his extended family and we didn't want to go either.

It was good to see my siblings and nephews. It was so hard to believe it had been two years since I saw most of them. My nephews have grown so much it was hard to believe it. When I hugged my family good bye I didn't want to let them go, especially my parents.


The drive home was long and uneventful thank goodness. We chose not to stop so Lisa drove the first half of the trip and I drove the rest of the way home. We made good time considering we stopped for lunch, dinner and some potty breaks. Having left my parents home at 10:30AM, I was dropping Sarah and Cash off at their house at 9:15PM. Once I dropped Lisa off got home and unpacked my car it was about 10:30. 


Sleep didn't come quickly but when I did finally fall asleep I didn't wake till after ten the next morning. It took me most of the day to get motivated to unpack and do laundry. Wow, I know I can't do short trips (especially driving) anymore as my body just doesn't recover from it as quickly as it once did. Next time I am flying...

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Happy Birthday Steve!

Today he would have been 52. A young handsome grandpa if you ask me.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Things I now miss during this time of the year...

Of course besides the blatantly obvious, Steven, are the things I had gotten used to living in the country. The smell of the earth after the first rain, seeing the sun rises from my kitchen window and the visits from my sweet nieces Evangeline and Estelle. The sounds of the owls at night coming from the woods, the farm equipment passing in front of the house and the sounds of children laughing while playing on the hay fort next door. Then there is also the sounds of screams coming from the haunted maze the last couple of nights before Halloween. Yes, I would bundle up and stand in my driveway to hear the sounds. They were strangely comforting when I knew that my kids were out there helping to 'scare' those silly people who thought it was fun to traipse around in the dark of night in the maze.

It saddens me to know that Steve is missing out on this time of year. He loved operating the trebuchet. Watching the kids and adults alike holler and laugh at the launching of the pumpkins into the sky. I know he would have loved watching Cash enjoy the hay fort and maze. I am sure he is looking down at us and enjoying it all...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

New house...old house

Thank goodness for my little girl. She has come to the rescue on clearing out the attic spaces on the old house. Very little from the attic will get moved to the new house because most of the things belong to girls and they are deciding what to do with all that stuff. It is amazing what you find in those spaces. A good much of it is what Sarah calls "what were you/Dad thinking?" and to which I have to agree. Yep, makes you realize that living simply is so much smarter.


We have the basement and the spare room off the garage left to do. Then it is trips to Goodwill and the dump. Really need to do this so I can sell the old place. My goal this week is to tag all the stuff I want to keep and place in a pile the things to be donated so that when it is time to go to the dump there will be no questions as to what goes because it all will. My dear brother-in-law Michael has offered to move any last stuff to the house and make the trip to the dump for me. He has been the greatest through all of this.


I am looking forward to the day when I don't have to do anymore things at the old place because it just makes me sad to walk in to the house. I keep praying that it will all be over soon and I can truly move on.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Twenty-five years ago...

The title to this post almost sounds like the start of a fairy tale. Well to be honest it was, mine. On August 23, 25 years ago I  married the most wonderful man in my life. He was smart, funny, opinionated, sentimental, handsome and a romantic. 

He had a good memory for things most guys tend to forget. He remembered the day we met, birthdays and our anniversaries but gift giving was always a struggle for him. First we gave him hints then we just would come right out and say what we wanted. But it rarely translated to what we got unless we purchased our own gifts, because he always thought he had a better idea.This meant a bicycle (can't ride), a frying pan (yep), a very good knife (he said mine were all crap) and a weather station. Yea, the last one is still in the box having never been opened because he was going to put the gauge up on the house. Then there were the times when he bought gifts because he thought we would like them and he put them away for the future. I found one such gift in his office when we were packing some of the stuff up. It still had the credit card receipt in the bag.


This was also the guy who was very hard to get gifts for when the time came. We asked for ideas and got lists of obscure books, guns (out of the girls money range) and tools. He also took a long time to get these lists to us. One year Sarah threatened to give him a pretty pink sweater in her size. "Dad, doesn't fit you, darn I guess I will keep it for myself." He got the biggest kick out of that comment.


As the years pass I find myself finding things I know he would have liked. Why, does this happen, who knows. I miss him even more today than ever. More happy memories come to mind when I look at pictures of him with the girls but it is still tinged with a lot of sadness. I seriously doubt it will ever get better...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Who knew...and didn't tell me?

All things related to this new 'old' house have been fun and frustrating at the same time. But I guess that is to be expected. The air conditioner began to have issues a week ago Sunday so I had to call someone out to look at it. Three hundred dollars later it was fixed. Not that it wasn't working but it kept running even with the thing set in the off position. So everything got a tune-up while the guy was here and now it I don't have to worry about that till next year.

I have a problem with spiders here, too. Not that I didn't at the old place but there seem to be thousands of the darn things. Sarah said the other day that my neighbors probably think she is a bit crazy. Because every time she drops Cash off as she approaches the front door she does a bunch of 'ninja' moves to clear the spiders. Since I rarely go in or out through the front door I didn't know about this phenomenon. My friend Camille confirmed it yesterday. It seems the tree in my front yard is like a home to the damn things. Just great.

My automatic yard watering system doesn't work and I need to replace it. There were no manuals left so that I could figure it out either. So I will be off to Home Depot sometime this week to get a new one. Home ownership is so much fun...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

So different...

After living in the country for over twenty plus years I had forgotten what a difference there was living in the city. Moving out to the country you lose lighted streets, paved driveways, peace and quiet. Yes, I said peace and quiet. Because in the late fall, spring and summer the noise of farm equipment is ever present. And if you live close to the road it is also really dusty.

Yes, city folk who move out to the country for peace and quiet don't usually get it. But they do expect it and tend to be quite vocal when it doesn't happen. The country folk get a big kick out of those neighbors expectations. Not much in the way of excitement really happens out in the country other than the occasional car accident or police chase that occurs in the middle of the night. 

But move to the city and you see all kinds of things. As I type this I can see my neighbor painting this very odd looking fountain she has in her yard. It is a giant palm tree with a small catch basin at it's base. Truly not a collectors item...

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The realization...

There are definitely going to be some things I will miss about living in the country. I will miss the beauty of the farms that are close by, the sunrises and sunsets on the horizons, and my fabulous neighbors and family. Though I have moved only about ten minutes away from the old house it is a big change. The upside of my move; no road noise from the 24/7 traffic, no constant dirt from fields being worked up, no pollen from the cottonwood trees or cars landing up in my pasture after they have driven off the road. I will miss the text messages from my neighbor Mary asking me to check and see if she closed her garage door, the impromptu visits from my nieces Evangeline and Estelle showing off their latest clothing purchase, and seeing my nephew Graham driving by on one of the tractors. 

In the trivia department I can boast that after 22 years of hearing farm equipment drive by, I can now identify the piece of equipment and its manufacturer correctly most of the time.  I can also identify young crops in a field, drive a car with a manual transmission and drive in the snow thanks to Steve. Though the latter two I never pursued because it wasn't a great experience.

In the new experience department I had hoped to do a great many new things with Steve instead I am doing them on my own and not really liking it but having to do it never the less. Watching Cash grow up and experience new things was something we had planned on doing together but now it is just me. Though a good many times I feel Steve's presence and know he is watching over all of us I would rather have him here physically to see what a wonderful little guy our grandson has become.

I won't have internet till Tuesday but my computer won't be moved till Wednesday sometime, as I am having some stuff done to consolidate programs on one versus three. So I will keep in touch by coming back to the old house as I still have internet here. I don't have TV's set up yet either so I am watching movies on my laptop till that happens on Tuesday. So I will post this for now and then do the next post when I am officially online at the new place. 

Spending my first night at my new house. I am  already feeling a little strange... 

Friday, July 15, 2011

Moving = major stress...

It has been almost a month to the day since I last did a blog post. Things went slow to super fast and hectic in just days. I am not 100% moved in to the new house yet but I am close. Bedroom furniture is there now as is most of the kitchen, living room and craft room. All the loose ends are still at the old house. Ran out of boxes but that was short lived. Thanks to my brother-in-law Mike and a couple of his workers they moved all that plus loads of boxes on Wednesday. While we; Sarah, Angie, Mary and her daughter Jenifer packed and cleaned more stuff. Whew, what a job...

Saturday, June 18, 2011

This girl...


Is AMAZING!!! She sorted and packed literally all of my kitchen in just over three hours. Some of the stuff was a little hard for me to put in the donate boxes but Sarah was right, I needed to not keep stuff I wasn't using. I have to say there were some mementos that I wanted to keep but after thinking about it this evening they are better off in those boxes. I think she will be proud of me that I haven't even thought about pulling anything out of those donate boxes.


This initial post is a couple of weeks old. Sarah has since come back and worked on my built in cabinet in my bedroom doing basically the same thing. "Donate, donate, donate" is her motto, I think. She is my rock star!

**The photo is a couple of years old. I had to search for one I thought she wouldn't object to my posting. It was Cash's first Halloween.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Slow going...

Things moved fast in the painting and cleaning department thank goodness but the packing is going really slowly. Some boxes have been pretty quick to pack but then there are those that are harder because I come across stuff of Steve's. The decisions to keep and what to take with me in these cases are sometimes hard. Some are no-brainers but then there is the occasional trinket he loved that I don't seem to want to part with so it might move to the new house.


I started this post at the end of May and I just realized I had never finished it. That is about the way things are right now. I am SO over the packing and moving thing.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

His momma's helper...


He found a paint roller and wanted to help. He first rolled the dry roller on his mom's newly painted wall. He later happened to lean against the same wet wall and got sage paint on the back of his pants, shirt and head. He didn't stop there as he then proceeded to touch the wall and taste it, and then made a face. Surprise Cash, paint doesn't taste good. His mommy even told him it wasn't food but that didn't stop him from then placing his lips to the wall to try a different spot. The look on his face was priceless...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The blues...

They hit me when I least expect them. I am usually a puddle of tears for most of the day and there is nothing I have tried so far that makes them go away. I just want to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and stay there. Today is one of those days...

Monday, May 9, 2011

Here she is...


Isn't she pretty? She has a red front door. Also a living/dining room, family room, two bedrooms, one bathroom, utility room and a kitchen with a nook. Love, love, love her!!! She is getting new paint in all rooms except the bathroom before I move in.

Thanks to my sweet girl Sarah, her hubby Nate and my dear friend Angie the house is prepped and ready to paint. Things are moving right along considering I just got my keys last Wednesday. I have already taken before pictures and will take more in process and then when it is done. I will post those later. 

It has been four days since I started writing this post and I finally loaded my photos onto my computer so I can post the first photo of the outside of my house. My wonderful family and friends have really made large strides on the painting. As of today the family/craft room and both bedrooms are done. The hallway is taped and painted at the baseboards and next to the door frames. The living/dining room ceiling is done as is the first coat of paint on the walls. Lisa started painting the utility room yesterday and hopes are that we get more done tomorrow. I will start posting before and after pictures in a couple of days.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Falling behind...

It is amazing what packing and moving does to your life. Blogging is the last thing that I think of doing. Though I know that I have been a bit remiss with it in the last couple of years it has become worse in the last six months. For instance it has been almost a month since I last wrote on my blog and I don't know where the time went. 

I am now thinking that hiring someone to pack and move me is a really good idea. But it isn't the moving that is the problem it is the sorting and dealing with the aftermath that I don't look forward to at all. I have twenty-four years of stuff to go through and it is extremely overwhelming to say the least.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Two years...

I keep trying to wrap my brain around this fact. It seems like only yesterday I was wondering why Steve wasn't answering his phone at just a little after eight in the morning. He should have been at work by then since he left at a little after seven. What prompted my calling him, which I rarely did, at that time of the morning you might ask? I had been watching the news as I always did and there was a report of a small plane crash. I had the oddest feeling so I called him. When I got no answer it kicked my 'worry' mode into gear. I shut off the television. From there on in the time frame of how things happened got very fuzzy.

My worst fear was about to be moved into a frenzy when I received a call from a reporter with the Oregonian. She wanted to confirm that Steve was the owner of N9996D and if he had been flying that morning. She even had the nerve to ask if I was sure he was the one flying the plane. She then told me there had been a plane crash, I don't remember what I said but it caused her to respond with "Oh my God". Because she then apologized and then hung up. My next call was to Kelly, Steve's boss to ask him if he had seen Steve yet that morning. I told him about the reporter and then I could hear what I believe were his keys in his pocket as he ran outside to the parking lot to see if Steve's motorcycle was there. It was not and then Kelly said I will call you back. I remember calling my neighbor Mary and after that things all happened in somewhat of a blur. How much time had passed from then to when I had a Marion County Sheriff knocking on my door seemed like forever but it could have been moments later I don't know. He was here to basically confirm my worst fears. Mary called family and friends and in no time at all my dear mother-in-law was in my arms sobbing along with me.

The sheriff needed to confirm what Steve was wearing and some of his physical attributes such as 'did he have facial hair'. It struck me at the moment as odd that I couldn't remember what shirt he had on. I described the color of his jacket, the fact he was wearing blue denim Carharts and yes, he had a beard. From there on in I don't remember what happened or in what order. But it seemed like in no time at all my dear friends were here asking what they could do.

Fast forward to today; past the reluctance of the insurance companies to pay out on their policies, the threatened lawsuits, the numerous attorneys and the estate. Today it is no less hectic but I have a goal and I am moving forward. Buying a new 'old' home and selling the old 'old' home is what is occupying my time right now. I hate the packing and moving part but now is when I take the opportunity to reduce the clutter my life. I hope my girls are grateful I am not leaving it for them to deal with...

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The next step...

I thought I would be packing and moving to the new 'old' house quickly but after having been there with Sarah on Sunday it looks like painting will be the next step. Looking to go with the colors I was going to use in this house. 

Sarah thinks I need to add color to the room I will use as my craft room, something in pink or purple. I am leaning towards a shade of lavender. She also thinks I should go with a pale yellow in my kitchen, that I am still trying to wrap my brain around. I like the blue in the master bedroom but she says it's a little dull and thought maybe adding some kind of sponged color over the existing will add a little 'pop' to the room. Cash's (guest) room is going to be a sage color as is the living room and the hall will be a shade of light brown. I need to go to the paint store some time this week. But I know I can't go without my decorator along. :) 

I decided on mini blinds in the bedrooms, my craft room and the eating area in the kitchen. So my next trip to the house I will need to remember a tape measure. I will be putting drapes in the living and dining room plus the sliding glass door in my craft room. I am just going to put valances in the remaining windows which are over the kitchen sink, the utility and bathroom. 

I am getting very excited about the house just not the packing and moving part. I have already had lots of offers to paint and to move. I am very blessed with great friends and family.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Making more changes...

While deciding whether to put money into this old house to make it more livable for me and my bad knee a few things became abundantly clear to me. It was going to take a lot of money and also displace me out of my house for long periods of time while the house was being worked on. Talking to Mike and Chris, in-laws extraordinaire, they told me that doing all that would probably not add much value to the house because of it's age. With their considerable knowledge with these matters I got to thinking maybe I should be putting my money into something newer or at least something that didn't have to have a major remodel. 

Well wouldn't you know it they may have found my 'new' home. It is ranch style home built in the early 50's with an attached garage, fenced in back yard, newly refinished wood floors and a utility room with washer and dryer hookups. Biggest plus, it is all one level. I went over this afternoon and looked at it. I fell in love...

My Valentine...

Sending your hugs and kisses to heaven. I love you...

Monday, January 31, 2011

Dishonesty...

I read somewhere recently that people who are trusting can more easily detect when someone is lying. I hadn't really thought much about this before but I believe it to be true. It is not something that blares out at you when a person is dishonest but rather a 'gut' feeling that you get. Accompanied by the fact that the person doesn't look you straight in the eye when talking to you. Not only quite unnerving but it pisses me off. Why put all that energy into lying when you can just deal with the matter at hand? Our society has gotten to the point that people don't like to be held accountable for their actions so they resort to lying. Yep, this world is going to hell in a hand basket...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

New microwave and other electronics...

Sometimes all things electronic I think are out to get me. My initial initiation to my new microwave was pretty easy thanks to Nate. But as of late I am still trying to figure out how not to overcook and dry out my food. I had the other microwave with the dial for so long that it is hard for me to remember that this new one definitely cooks and heats foods faster, like in half the time faster. Now my fairly new Blue-Ray DVD player is shooting out movies at random times. I know it wasn't me hitting the buttons by accident as I wasn't even in the room. The computer in Steve's office has decided to shut itself off at a whim and the battery back up in said office went nuts the other day. High pitched and piercing noises are not fun. I shut everything off but now I can't access Quicken to pay bills. See, the electronic gods are messing with me. Damn.

Never too old...

I have discovered you are never too old to learn something new. I am still trying to conquer the world of computers and I believe this will be an on going learning experience for me. I continue to learn new and sometimes re-inventive ways to scrapbook my memories. I am continuing to learn how to take better pictures with my digital SLR. I am starting to understand some of Cash's 'baby' talk. He actually said "outside" the other evening clear as a bell, his dad was a witness. In the new column, I have learned that it is never too late to learn to pick your friends wisely. Whether you are six, twenty-six or fifty-six this lesson is a painful one. The fact that there are just some people and situations that will never change no matter how much you want them too. If there is one thing I learned from my first marriage is that wishing a person will change because they love you doesn't mean it will happen because they are probably wishing the same of you. And I continue to learn to appreciate the things I do have in my life. My wonderful family who make life so enjoyable.  I am not going to focus any energy on people or things that want to bring me down. So I take small steps into the new era in my life beginning with cleaning out the crap and because Steve and I had a hard time throwing things out I now pay for it. Damn...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Two amazing daughters...

Steve and I raised two amazing girls. They have stepped in countless times these last twenty months to help me when I needed it. From cleaning to moving furniture and boxes they have taken up the task at hand to do the things that I just can't do. I know that this has to be hard on them too but they don't complain. 

In fact there have been times while we were sorting through stuff that we laughed ourselves silly over the memories that came up. Of course, mostly at Steve's expense but then he had it coming. We usually laughed when it happened and then the memories came and we laughed more. Comments usually range from "Dad never got it" (Sarah) to "Dad was such a geek" (Lisa) that sides hurt from the laughter. 

As the memories resurface we laugh, cry and laugh some more. It is what makes it so bittersweet that he couldn't have made his 'grandpa' memories with Cash because we all know it would have been an unending supply of laughter, again at his expense. 

My personal memories of how we met, dated, married and lived our twenty-four years are what hold me together now. Some of course are of a personal nature, others are of how he impacted those he encountered while he went about living life. He constantly amazed me what a wonderful person he was and though we didn't have the 'perfect' marriage it was really really good. 

Now it is on to making new memories with my family and their families.We are doing it in small steps and they have been great ones. I just hope that this continues for this new year.