Always learning...

Everyday it is something new. Yesterday I learned that the government requires estates to have a federal tax id number. What in heavens name for was my first reaction. Then it occurred to me that they want to make sure that money left in the estate is taxed. What bastards. The money is already taxed to death when you earn it. They want to make sure anybody who inherits from the estate is reported, so they can tax the money again only at a higher rate. It is no small wonder why one of the political parties wants to lower if not get rid of the inheritance tax. It is just a shame that it isn't the party that is running the country right now...

Yesterday...

It was the couch, today it was my coffee table pretty soon no place will be safe from my grandson...

And the fun begins...

Cash finally managed to get on the couch by himself. I thought I was tired before but oh boy...

Visiting him...

I couldn't do it on Valentine's Day so I went to visit Steve today. I have discovered two things. One, I can't do it without breaking down and two, I do need the anti-depressants. I thought I would be able to work this through without them but it has become blatantly obvious that I can't. It is very hard to lose a child due to a miscarriage this I know because I have experienced it but I have no idea how it is to lose one you have had with and near you for many years. So my heart aches for my dear mother-in-law. We do share a grief that we both have experienced and that is losing our husbands. Missing our 'life' partners is an ache I cannot even describe. It isn't just the quietness of your home, or having no one to snuggle with on cold nights. It is also having no one to have your meals with, to tell about your day or share all the fun stuff you did with your grandchild. We planned to spend a lot of time camping with the kids and their families. Now I have a travel trailer and no desire to even get near it. I hear with time people cope better but it is just a few weeks away from being a year and it hurts just as much as it did the day it happened.

Valentine's Day

We were supposed to go away for a romantic weekend to make up for not doing anything last Valentine's Day, so this one is exceptionally bittersweet. I am missing my husband so much. Take the time to tell your loved ones that you love them...

Wishing a Happy Valentine's Day to all of my friends and family.

Tears...

They fall at the least expected moments. It continues to catch me off guard. Music he loved, his handwriting, his shirts hanging in the closet or that stupid cast iron skillet he made his omelets in. Some days I wish I never got out of bed...

Ten months...

It just doesn't seem possible that Steve has been gone that long. There are still things not settled when it comes to his estate. One thing for sure, what money there was is all gone now. And 'Pedro' has been paid off and the bank is notifying the FAA according to a letter I received in the mail. Like it makes a difference to them. Sheesh...