If I knew what triggered them I would avoid those situations at all cost. But it is never the same thing that causes them. His shampoo in the shower, his razor (where he left it), his conceal carry vest hanging on the back of his chair in his office, stepping into the garage or just looking at his picture. These things are so much a part of my life and I can't get rid of them. Just the thought of doing that sends me into a tailspin. So when my meltdowns happen I just have to ride them out. And when I am ready to remove some of my memories I will do so, but until then the meltdowns will continue to happen when I least expect it...
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