Sadness sets in once again...

Annette's family is now preparing to memorialize her brother-in-law. They found Arlie's body not too far from where he went into the water last week. How I grieve for Jenny and her children. The girls and I know all too well what this feels like. Both of the girls said they wanted to desperately hug their daddy and I do too...

Last weekend

I had a great time with a bunch of wonderful ladies. Reconnected with some that I hadn't seen in quite awhile and others that I had seen just a couple of weeks ago. We had a "comfort" food potluck on Friday which was really good. Emese did the food for the rest of the weekend and wow it was yummy. Another big event will be happening in February and we are already signed up. Should be loads of fun once again.

Pink Crop Event

It is happening at Running with Scissors in Independence this weekend. I will be spending it with Camille and a bunch of amazing creative ladies. Some of these gals I have not seen a quite awhile so it should be loads of fun. I am actually packed and ready to go. I am hoping to be on the road by five but we shall see...

Slow start...

The morning started out slow but it has picked up. Lots to do so that I will be ready for the 'Pink Crop' event at Running with Scissors this weekend.
Starting to struggle with my grief again. I visited Steve this morning and I had a major breakdown. I long to put my arms around him and to feel his beard on my face when I kiss him. Is this ever going to get easier?

Homework...

I purchased the software program Photo Shop Elements and I am taking a class to help me better understand its workings. I should have spent time working on getting to know the software this past week but life got in the way. So now I am going to attempt to get a little time at it before class this evening...

ETA: I learned some really cool stuff tonight and can hardly wait to use these features!!!

The decision has been made...

I want to thank my children, my mother-in-law, my friends and Steve's pilot friends who helped me make this decision. At first I wasn't sure what to do but once I talked with all of you and realized that the choice really was an easy one. I slept better last night than I have in a really long time, so I know that I made the right choice.

Now all I have to do is notify my attorney. I need to talk to Rob Lusardi first and let him know why I have made this decision. He is the husband of the passenger that was flying with Steve at the time of the accident. I have not talked to him since attorneys got involved in this whole thing. I just thought it more safe that way. But now that the estate is just about to close it is time for me to move on.

I had not realized that I was stuck in my grief. My house is a complete disaster. Getting things organized will help make cleaning my house easier but also get my life back. I need to move on but it is so hard. I miss and want him back so badly that at times all I do is sit and stare out the window wondering 'what if'. It is a dangerous place to be and I want out.

It all started with this, then ended with this...

It has been complete craziness since. It consumed time, money but provided countless hours of enjoyment for Steve. The intent was to shave hours off Steve's commute every week so that he could spend more time at home. Yea, didn't really work out that way. When the time finally became available he used it for recreational flying, which was a great stress reducer for him. Sarah said it best in her eulogy to her dad. He became a complete person once he learned to fly. He was passionate about flying like he was about everything else he loved in his life. Little did we know that it would later cause me so much grief.


The NTSB have yet to finish their investigation into the accident. I think the longer it takes the more likely we are to never really know what happened. There are a few theories on what may have happened. It depends on who you talk to what scenario may have occurred. As it sits now the estate of the passenger is planning on suing the manufacturer of the carburetor. They believe the accident was caused by 'carb ice', my attorney hasn't bought into that theory. A couple of Steve's pilot buddies believe that they ran into surface icing conditions when they were trying to climb out of the terrain. Which caused their gyro instruments to slowly stop working and as the gyro horizon leaned over they just followed. It then explains why several of the 'eye' witnesses heard the planes engine rev up before the crash. This scenario makes much more sense. 

Because there is a two year window where you can sue the attorneys have asked if I want to join in the lawsuit. It will be costly and probably lengthy too. I am going to talk to my girls and get their input. But the more I look at this the more I find it distasteful. I just want this to end.