I cried...

Nonstop for literally two hours this evening. Everything I seemed to do today or wanted to do I found myself wishing I could ask Steve's opinion on. These last couple of months have been particularly hard. When I first moved into my new house I found solace in his picture that I have sitting on the fireplace. But lately it is all I can do to look at it without falling to pieces and I feel so completely alone. I know that I am struggling with depression on a different level because of the old house and the knowledge that my mom's dementia is getting worse. I should go see the doctor but I have been avoiding it for a variety of reasons that aren't really good ones. I just need Steve to put his arms around me and tell me he that he will make everything okay.

2 FEET...2 FEET...2 FEET!!!

I woke to snow on the ground and a text from Sarah saying "2 feet, 2 feet!!!". Really this girl has a big thing for snow. I, on the other hand can do without it. I am not a big fan. Steve and the girls all for the snow whenever they could get it. I was born a California girl and I don't see that changing...

New beginnings...

It was our first Christmas in my new house and we had lots of fun. It didn't have the tinge of sadness that the last two years had for me. I believe it is because it was the start of new traditions blended with old ones in my new home. Stockings were hung on the fireplace and the tree was in it's rightful place in the living room in front of the window just like at the old house. But there were new lights on the outside of the house, some new ornaments and the smell of ham in the oven to make things feel really good. If it wasn't for the stress that occurs every year I would have this holiday year around. I loved spending the day with my girls and their guys. I am so looking forward to having a new little baby in the house come next Christmas.

Happy New Year!!!

Our family has a couple of babies due this summer so we are going to be blessed with an expanding family. So I have an extra couple of wishes to add to my list this year. That being said I wish for my girl Sarah and my niece Katy to have easy and uneventful births, for my friends and family to have a better year than last and of course, peace on earth...

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

I am spending the day with my children and grandson. Hope your day is as joyous as I know mine will be.

Tis' the season...

It makes me so happy to be with my family at this time of year. While we miss Steve so much at this time we keep his memory alive by keeping his traditions alive. Sarah and Nate have taken over getting the Christmas trees for me and Grandma Norma. They have really gotten into it and have picked out some really great ones. This year is no different. I will try to get a picture of it this year. It is one of those hybrid nobles and it is pretty cute.


Kids will be here at noon Christmas morning and then we will do the Fordyce Christmas the following day. This week is going to be crazy because I still have a couple of more gifts to get and another party with friends. I definitely love this time of the year even if it is crazy stressful.

He is three.

My grandson turned three on Monday. It is unbelievable how time has flown by. I miss his grandpa so much and wish that he were here to experience how awesome Cash is. We celebrated his birthday on Sunday. He was only mildly interested in his guests, presents and cake. Operating on no nap, all he did was be super hyper and not sit too long or he risked falling asleep.

His momma made him a dirt cake which he really didn't want to eat but the gummy worms on it got his attention. Those he picked off the remainder of the cake after everyone was served and ate those. I think the cake was mostly for his daddy and mommy who love it.

His presents held little or no interest for him until his dad started to open them. The best gifts appeared to be from his Aunt Lisa and Uncle Buck which were a large artists tablet with washable markers and brushes. He also received books and various matchbox like cars and a couple of movies. He was happy with all his gifts just more interested in drawing than anything else.