What is normal??

Normal is a strange word for me these days. I have no 'normal' days anymore. I am always changing things I do because sadness constantly threatens to consume me. It is always on the outer edges of things, so it is a daily struggle. I want the days back that finds me not doing things alone, like eating breakfast or going to the movies. I miss Steve so very much.

Pretty face...

No matter the age or the fact that they drool does not discourage the ladies from fawning over a pretty face. Such is the case with my grandson who in this picture has the evidence on his lips from some lady kissing him. I can't say that I blame them as I do it all the time too...

Class stuff, etc...

I finished the Disney layout for next months class and updated the Technique Tuesday cards we are also offering next month. I won't be doing any other classes as Sarah's wedding is fast approaching and I have tons of things to do before then. I will be spending tomorrow with my friends scrapbooking for the day. Followed on Sunday by doing alterations on Sarah's wedding dress which should be quick and easy, I hope. The wedding is less than a month away...

Class acts, not...

Sarah's stressing thanks to some not so cool people. It seems that some think it is okay to ask why they were not invited to the wedding. I would think that if you are chosen to be invited it is because you hold a special place in the wedding couples hearts and lives. Acquaintances, co-workers and even some family have not been invited. The reasons range from distance (miles) to cost saving measures. The list of people that they chose to invite was a long one and it had to be pared down due to space and cost. Sarah has not been employed since December and Nate has been laid off (temporarily) since May I believe. As mother of the bride with virtually no money it was a necessity. What I find so unclassy about this whole thing is they are actually calling her and asking her directly. She shouldn't have to justify her decision to these people. As I told her just lay that on me as it isn't a lie. I don't have the money to feed the entire city of Salem...

ETA: I spoke to another young lady that I know that is getting married in a couple of weeks and she has gotten these kinds of calls too. Wow...

Teaching this class tonight...

It is my second Disney layout class and I think it turned out pretty cute. I tried to finish working on it yesterday but I was just feeling too sad. Instead I chose to take a nap which landed up being a very long one. It was another one of those firsts for me and my girls. Father's Day without their Dad was a lot tougher on me than I thought it would be. But the sleep I got in place of other things really helped me as I had been sleeping poorly for several days.

ETA: Lisa's paternal grandmother Edith called me today. She was told this morning about Steve. I had chose not to tell her when it happened because she had been doing so poorly health wise. I talked to her nephew last week and he told me he would let her know when he thought she could handle it. She just loved Steve and appreciated his taking such good care of her granddaughter. She was shocked and deeply saddened to hear about his accident.

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads...

Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads with an emphasis on the newest Dad in the family, Nate. Special wishes go out to the Dads in my family; my Dad, my brothers; Joe and Larry, my brothers-in-law; Michael and Raymond, my friends husbands; Rob, Alan, Bill and Allan. And more wishes go out to Steve's friends; Kelly, Marc, Dave, Phil, Glen and John.

ETA: I rode with Sarah, Nate and Cash to the Noodle where we met Lisa and Buck for lunch today. It is very strange to go to the restaurant and sit at the table without Steve. It makes me sad and then my family makes it better. Sarah wanted to go to see Steve after lunch, so they dropped me off at home as I was just not up for it, especially today. Lisa and Buck met them at the cemetery then stopped by before going home. My girl had been crying. I felt so bad for her and all I could do was hold her. We all miss him so much...

Pixie or Dixie???

Upon unloading a load of wash from my washer I discovered on the bottom of the tub a very dead mouse. Talk about grossing me out!! In the twenty years we have lived here I have never had this happen before. I always used to look in the tub to make sure I hadn't left any of the last load inside but since it was the first load I didn't look. I won't make that mistake again...

More hair...

I think my sweet little grandson Cash has more hair than his Uncle Buck. Don't you think? Lisa took this picture of them at Sarah's birthday party/barbeque. Okay, so one has more hair than the other but they both have very sweet personalities...

I have the BEST friends...

Janet called me yesterday and asked if I was busy this afternoon. I told her no and she said good. I will be by to pick you up around three-fifteen. She wouldn't tell me what we were doing though. She just said "Do you trust me?" Well, yea and that was it. She surprised me with a massage at Massage Envy!! Thanks to her, who let my friends know I had mentioned wanting one but not being able to afford it at this time. I am guessing that my friends had decided to pitch in and get this marvelous gift for me. Oh, it was heaven!! I think I am hooked...

All Things Fordyce...

I have been meaning for two days now to go get some strawberries and something always side tracks me. So I am doing that first thing tomorrow. Raymond's oldest child Graham has been sick for the last couple of days and today he was in so much pain he couldn't stand up. This evening he had his appendix out. And when talking to Sarah this afternoon about whether or not I would sell the Excursion she said no. "Mom it is paid for don't sell it." So I am keeping it at least for now. I am going to sell my Taurus and drive the Excursion till I find something I really like. She also told me I couldn't sell the cannon Steve made. Not because she wants to fire it but because her Dad made it. I guess I will be occasionally running into this situation with some of his stuff that the girls might want. Then Lisa managed to get hit in the head with a fixture at work. Hurt like the dickens and she wanted her "mommy". A day in the life...

He is...

The first and last thought of my day. Sometimes it is what gets me through the day and sometimes it just makes the day seem unbearably long and painful. I never know which one will greet me in the morning. Today it is the good feeling. I am off to Brooks Hardware to buy a new mailbox. They open at 7:30 and I want to get this done before the heat of the day. I didn't realize how many little things Steve did for me. Because I am vertically challenged, he used to get all the things down from the top shelves that I needed or wanted. He changed the smoke alarm batteries, the light bulbs and helped me take down the light covers so I could wash them every spring. He killed all the flying or crawling critters that got into my house because I am such "a girl" about this stuff. Looks like I am going to have to take care of this one myself but I have my sons-in-law to help me with all the others.

ETA: I came back from the hardware store a little melancholy. I chatted with Stan Welty about Steve. He gave his condolences and said he was so sad about what happened. He told me that Steve had just been in the store a couple of days before his accident. When I got home I just sat in the Excursion staring off at our place. I have no idea how long I sat there. Again, the sadness has hit me and I struggle to get away from it. On the upside the mailbox only cost me a hundred and seventy, thank goodness.

Now my damn Mailbox!!!

What else can possibly happen to me??? Last Thursday my toilet became stopped up. When I ran water in my sink or bathtub the toilet water gurgled! I had to call a plumber who found the plug was on the outside of the house and because the flush outs where up high in the basement he had to remove the toilet to run a snake to clear the plug. So, a half hour and a hundred dollars later everything was working again. Then this morning my neighbor comes by at just after nine to inform me that someone had pried open my mailbox. Yep, a steel box with a lock. It was destroyed and to replace it with the same is probably going to cost me about three hundred dollars. What kind of jerks do this???

Flight path

You can't escape the helicopters and the crop dusting here in the country. In the past I hardly noticed the small planes that flew over our house. It appears that we are on a flight path to and from somewhere thanks to McNary Field (Salem Airport). That has all changed. Sometimes it is all I can do to not cry and then I think of how much Steve enjoyed flying. I look at the sky at times and think to myself he would have loved the day because it would have been perfect for flying. Contrary to what people might think I don't hate small planes but I do have a different reaction to hearing them than I had in the past. The sound reminds me how much I love and miss him...

Pretty ladies...

I thank God every day for these three girls. Sometimes it is just plain hard to get a start on the day and then one of them will call or text me. We are just six weeks away from Sarah's wedding and I am feeling a little out of sorts. I know it is from not having Steve here to bounce ideas off of and to just chat about this wonderous event. I will need lots of strength because I will miss him terribly that day and I know my family and friends will provide it.

ETA: This photo was taken by my dear friend Camille at Sarah's shower. Sister of the bride Lisa, the bride and our dear friend and matron of honor, Julie.

She is twenty-two and a winner...

Though her birthday was on the second we celebrated yesterday. Nate barbecued hamburgers and hot dogs. It was kind of a potluck event with lots of good food. Including cake, thank you Aunt Chris, and strawberries, thank you Raymond and family!! Here she is playing croquet. It was her birthday gift from Nate. Can you guess that she won??

Scrapbooking and Canon Class...

I spent the day scrapbooking at my friend Angie's new house in her new scrapbooking room. Oh, it is so beautiful and spacious as is her new home. I just worked on some kits that had been laying around here for awhile. Camille and I spent a couple of hours at an SLR digital camera class. We both want to get out of shooting in auto mode. Now that I have a grandbaby I want to learn how to take better pictures of a moving target not to mention doing away with using my flash if possible. Wish me luck, I already have homework...

Honestly, it isn't Kansas Dorothy...

You sure wouldn't know it by the thunderstorm that went through here today. There were winds in some places in the seventies and rain oh my goodness we had over an inch inside a half hour! Now, i know some of you transplanted midwesterners are laughing at all us northwesterners but come on we NEVER see thunderstorms like that. Oh, and I didn't mention that the warning included a "tornado watch". Buck called me about 3:45 and asked if I was watching tv or listening to the radio. No and no was my response. Then he told me about the tornado warning. Within minutes Sarah was calling me telling me I should take my cars up to Norma's and put them in the shed in case the hail gets really bad. But it was already too late as the sky was pitch black, the wind was really picking up and the rain had just started. So I ran about the house shutting off computers and then praying it wouldn't get as bad as the news was reporting...

It was harder than I thought it would be.

I went to visit Steve's grave today. I thought I was ready. I wasn't. From the time I pulled up to the cemetary till I got home the tears just flowed. I need to get his headstone ordered and to put some grass seed down while the ground is still soft. I miss him so much. Thank goodness I have loved ones to make my burden lighter...

Happy Birthday Sarah!!!

Twenty-two years ago at this time my baby girl was twelve hours old and screaming her lungs out as she was wheeled into my room from the nursery. Boy, was that girl born with a set of lungs! Time sure flies by quickly. There was graduation from grade school then high school now she is a mommy herself. We moved here when she was fourteen months old. Steve wanted to bring his family back here so that his kids could go to Pratum School like he did. I am so glad we made the move and that he was able to make that happen for them. Sarah is hoping for the same thing for Cash and i hope to help her make that happen...

Two months and another sleepless night

I went to sleep at eleven and here it is 1:30AM and I am wide awake! Too much on my mind is probably the reason. It hardly seems possible that two months have gone by already since Steve passed away. So much is going on and at times I stop to think I should ask Steve before I proceed and then I remember I can't. It just stinks that I can't get his input. Then there is the phenomenom of things that quit working or just start making weird noises. Turn signals, light bulbs (that I can't reach), computer fan and bathroom fan. Minor nuisances for the most part but they still drive me crazy. Thank goodness for family and friends.

I think I am going to go grab a book and see if that won't help put me to sleep because surfing the web does not do it...

Sweet brother-in-law...

Craig called on Sunday and said they were all going down to "Bob's Lake" to swim and just relax. Sarah, Nate and Cash were also going but just for a quick stop as they had another invitation for a pool party to go to. Lisa and Buck were here when Craig called so they went for a quick stop too. In attendance where Craig and his wife Lisa, Raymond and his family, Norma and some friends of Lisa's. Okay, so I have to explain where Bob's Lake is at. It is at the back of my mother-in-laws farm. She had it built as a kind of memorial to my father-in-law. It was a long held dream of his to build one and she carried it out. It is stocked with fish and so you can swim or fish depending on your hearts desire. Steve would have really enjoyed this family get together. The picture I posted yesterday is of Cash and his cousin Stuart sitting enjoying the festivities. Fun was had by all...